| fine you all know what.... |
[Apr. 2nd, 2004|09:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
fine sure go ahead i did it on purpose
not that any of you were there
when she was crying
saying this is hard because i like you tooo
i just can't do this right
you weren't there when she rode away on her bike crying
or that quick pressing of her lips against my cheek when she left
not that any of you care
youd just rather try and smut me
and say my music is all ripped off and shit
well shut up
you don't fucking know
ok
just admit it
you weren't there
you dun know the emotions.... the actiosn...
or the lines....
you're bad actors
real bad actors
horrible ones
fucking learn something for once
theres more than one point of view to fucking everything
maybe marie and kate devlin spew the same amount of fucking truth
just fucking stop ok
all of you
ha
out |
|
|
| more depression..... |
[Apr. 1st, 2004|11:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Indian Summer - Angry Son | ] |
so i'm a tad drunk....
not enough yet....
my cat's going senile....
life sucks....
nothing else is neww....
im boring...
all i do....
is drink....
and cry....
damnit.....
oh welll.......
ughhhh.....
wow st. ides sucks.....
anyway....
i dun know...
today was kind of fun....
but uneventful......
i dun know.....
too much goes on....
it doesn't matter....
none of it matters....
im just waiting to die.....
its all ok.....
i guess.....
i think i need to shave...
allright......
8 cans....
im still pretty sober.....
im sticking to liquer....
rar.....
ha ha...
my arm stoppped bleeding....
i think i need to practice.....
im out. |
|
|
| im always alone *sigh* |
[Mar. 30th, 2004|10:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Hoover - Breather Resist | ] |
well....
its raining....
and im alone....
like usual....
i went to see david bowie last night...
he was great....
earl slick played amazing guitar....
mike garson blew away the keyboards....
*sigh* polyphonic spree opened for them....
they really suck....
like beyond sucking.....
like jesus christ....
its not even funny....
but at any rate...
right now sucks...
and im lonely....
and everyone is busy and not talking....
it really sucks....
i didn't have time to drink today....
and i got my guitar back....
no time for cutting either....
well as they say....
theres always tomorrow......
so yea....
i dun know....
i dun wanna live anymore....
*sigh*....
the rains slowing down a bit....
im bored...
oh welll....
good bye for now....
im out. |
|
|
| welll im back for now |
[Mar. 29th, 2004|03:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Still Life - Burning Like The Bridges Behind Us | ] |
so ive been gone for a few days....
just thinking i guess
lots been on my mind....
anyway....
i dun know....
i was drunk alot...
cried alot...
cut a lil....
my open mic went ok i guess....
it was coool....
i fucked the neutral milk cover thou...
but such is life...
i was pretty angry with myself....
so i wasn't in til late friday...
and then saturday i was just out walking all day...
then came home and got smashed...
it was allright i guess....
then i spent sunday with a friend....
and then today blew....
and yesterday i double dosed my meds by accident...
ive been hyper since....
only slept two hours....
i started exploring surreal/abstract expressionism....
its kind of coool.....
well anyway....
i gotta go.....
im out. |
|
|
| life hates me *sigh* |
[Mar. 24th, 2004|11:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Potraits of Past - Snicker Snicker | ] |
so yet another shitty day......
its all the same....
crying...
cutting....
i drank today too....
like 2 bottles of vodka....
then i cut some more....
this guy said he liked me music today...
that was pretty cool.....
but then this girl i like hurt my feelings...
so yea....
and i have to retrack everything stilll....
i hate life....
it hates me....
it evens out somewhere....
so yea...
open mic night friday....
i dun feel ready.....
but oh well i guess....
yea life isn't to great....
i dun know....
i feel like dying....
oh well i guess ill try it another day....
*sigh*....
out. |
|
|
| *sigh* another sucky day |
[Mar. 23rd, 2004|10:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | gloomy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Julia - Our Last Song | ] |
so i forget my medication this morning that sucked.....
so i was like messed up all day....
and then i dun know.....
people kept yelling at me...
i cried when i got home i was so sad....
this girl came up and talked to me....
i used to like her....
we both laughed way too much.....
shes still hurt ha ha *sigh*.....
so am i.... i guess but oh welll....
yea....
and then i cut in the shower....
it was kind of messy.........
and yea....
i wrote a new song.....
its not done yet thou......
and yea that was my day....
lots of crying....
bye. |
|
|
| *sigh* |
[Mar. 22nd, 2004|10:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | navio forge - haloed eyes | ] |
oh, yea, here we are starting a live journal, oh joy,
so yea,
live journal
i dun know
it was a long day
i didn't cut
im proud of myself
even when the teacher yelled at me for listening to muysic in class
i cried though
i didn't talk to the girl i like in lunch again *sigh*
well i guess thats it |
|
|
| *sigh* |
[Mar. 22nd, 2004|10:32 pm] |
|
oh, here we are, another depressed kid starting a live journal...... |
|
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everythingifear's journal